dear asda
Dear Asda,
Last week I purchased some of your "smart price" toilet tissue and I have some thoughts to share with you. For my first use I folded it twice like I normally would, but it was so weak it broke, at which point I realised I had fingered myself. That's right. No romance, no weekend in Venice, just one swift digit up the wrong 'un in a cold bathroom in brighouse. So what exactly is "smart" about "smart price"? My eyes certainly smarted a bit as I jabbed at my rectum. I spent the next few minutes in the saddest bathroom scene since Oscar Pistorius, debating whether to sacrifice a bath towel, a sock or the fleece of the first staff member I find at my local store. A few more minutes passed, the anger subsided and I made a second attempt. You see this stuff might be half the price of branded stuff, but I found I needed to bandage it tightly 7-8 times around my hand to prevent me from molesting myself a second time, leaving me looking like an Egyptian mummy that's just performed a prostate exam. The feeling of shame was soon replaced with regret, as I realised I had better things within arms reach to do the job. Even the pumice stone on the edge of my bath looked like it could do a better job than the stuff you supply. I noticed in the news today your sales have dropped 7.5% in 3 months. Looks like it's not just the competition you can't wipe out! Yours truly, A very unhappy customer |
i have herd of figerroll but fingerroll
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:lol:lol
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B&M Deluxe Softy Quilted 4 ply- 6 rolls for £1.49 -14.9 m per roll
Sad but we have similar issues with not only cheap stuff but some of the better brands.
We currently buy this brand from B&M stores. Two sheets passes the finger test easily we have found it to be the best value we have tried. Andrex etc might be long but you need more folds! |
One of my rules are when I cannot wipe my own arse, then that is time for me to pass on, Rick
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Japanese paperless loos anyone tried one ?
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