Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-09-2017, 21:51   #1
briggie
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
Posts: 10,473
Red face logic

Two Irish builders (Paddy and Séamus) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub in Dublin when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Paddy: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Séamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker..
Paddy: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Pat and he makes for
the toilet.
On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at
the urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better
of the builder.
Paddy: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were
wondering
what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Paddy: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at
home?
Paddy: - Err... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in
a pond. Which is it?
Paddy: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have
a large garden.
Paddy - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have
a large garden then you have a large house?
Paddy: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is
logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that
you are quite probably married?
Paddy: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and five children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a regular basis?
Paddy:- Yep! Five or six nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
very often?
Paddy: - Me? Never.
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Paddy: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
about your sex life!
Paddy: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
Séamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Paddy - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Séamus: - What's that then?
Paddy: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Séamus: - Nope.
Paddy: - Well then, you're a ******..
briggie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2017, 22:14   #2
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default

Nice one
__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-09-2017, 13:20   #3
johnb5177
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Swansea, S.Wales
Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto
Posts: 1,586
Default

johnb5177 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-09-2017, 14:37   #4
macabethiel
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Derby
Vehicle: Freelander & Jeep GC 3.0
Posts: 4,415
Thumbs up Good one !

one of your better ones ??
macabethiel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 14:48.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums