worst ever joke competition

[briggie]

" mummy , mummy ... are birds made of metal ? "

" of course not my dear , why do you ask ? "

" i just heard daddy say he'd like to screw the arse off the bird next door "

[briggie]

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner
"How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?"
"He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

[Neville]

brill lol

[patbhoy]

Originally Posted by briggie

women used to call me pete the meat .... but i never understood why

Its because your jokes are mince

[Terranical]

Originally Posted by briggie

the idea is to post your worst joke , we vote on which is the worst ... winner gets a club sticker paid for by me


so come on folks drag those jokes out of the bin

Viagra is now available in powder form for putting in your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit from going soft!

[briggie]

Originally Posted by Terranical

Viagra is now available in powder form for putting in your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit from going soft!

[slimlfc68]

man walks in to the library and ask,s can i have a book about comiting suicide , piss off says the librarian you wont bring it back

[MudLifeCrisis]

My champion racing snail seems to have stopped performing as he isn't winning any races these days.

I thought that it might be because he's getting older so I decided to remove his shell to bring his weight down a bit and make him a bit more aerodynamic and give him a fighting chance. Sadly it didn't go to plan.













In fact, if anything its made him a bit more sluggish

[R1cho]

Q: On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?









A: The outside.

[briggie]

none bad enough ( yet ) to warrant a club sticker , but i live in hope

[R1cho]

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."

[briggie]

i am currently engaged in judging the jokes in this thread for the prize of a club sticker .... if you wish to add any more of your jokes for consideration please do , but a decision will be made on friday

i thank you all for your contributions , some of which had me giggling for ages , some of which had me feeling sick lol .

watch this space

regards

pete

[glenbo]

what do you call a ten foot gorilla?











SIR

[glenbo]

what do you call a deaf ten foot gorilla?









anything you like he cant hear you

[briggie]

as there are many many funny jokes entered , i am going to judge the contest on the member who posts the most funny jokes in this thread ..... it may or may not be tonight tho