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Old 13-09-2010, 18:27   #16
vintagetransport
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On a golf tour in Newfoundland , Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion
into a gas station in a remote part of town.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a
typical Newfoundland manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
''How's she cuttin' bye'' says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick 'hello' and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he
does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
''What are dose?'' asks the attendant. ''They're called tees'' replies
Tiger.

''Well, what on god's earth are dey for?'' inquires the attendant..

''They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving'', says Tiger.


''Fookin Jaysus'', says the Newfoundlander, ''Ford tinks of everyting!
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:22   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MudLifeCrisis View Post
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?




Still no idea. ;O)
What do you call a blind deer with no legs and no C0CK???

Still no F@~king Idea!!!
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:23   #18
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I saw a man with a cabbage on a lead going across the park .i said what u doing with a cabbage on a lead ,,he looked at me and said ..oh i thought it was a collie
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:24   #19
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What's Orange and sounds like a Parrot??







A Carrot!!!
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:26   #20
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Man 'Doctor I've got a peanut stuck up me arse!!!'

Doctor 'Go home and have a bar of dairy milk and it'll come out a "treat"!!'
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:33   #21
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I thought i was going mad heard something laughing in the pantry. I opened the door it was a tickled onion!!
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:35   #22
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I hate going to a shop and forgetting things. I went to staples the stationers for some materials to do posters! Got there and there was something i needed but could not remember i hate it when that happens! I got home and was just coming in when I saw the rear end of my cat going through the cat flap tail in the air ,then I remembered it was a pencil sharpener id forgot . .
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:40   #23
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59219011_shootmyself.gif
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:43   #24
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why did the psychic cross the road ?




















to get to the other side.
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Old 13-09-2010, 21:45   #25
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An Englishman stops Paddy for directions... "Excuse me pal, what's the quickest way to Dublin?"

Paddy says "Are you on foot or in the car?"

The Englishman says "In the car."

Paddy replies "That's the quickest!"
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Old 13-09-2010, 22:33   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by briggie View Post
you started this!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 13-09-2010, 23:38   #27
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come on .... im sure we can do better ( worse ? )
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Old 14-09-2010, 07:12   #28
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Whats blue and smells like red paint?





Blue paint.
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Old 14-09-2010, 07:13   #29
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What do you call a blind dinosaur?


Do-you-think-he-saw-us.
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Old 14-09-2010, 07:14   #30
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What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?


Do-you-think-he-saw-us Rex.
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