jokes for the female members

briggie · 23-07-2011, 22:59

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won't stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He's breathing

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

23-07-2011, 22:59	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	jokes for the female members Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg? A: They won't stop for directions. Q: Why did God put men on earth? A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in. Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common? A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them. Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock. Q: Why do men masturbate? A: It's sex with someone they love. Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. Q: Why did God make men before women? A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy. Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white? A: So he can tell if he is coming or going. Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet. Q: What is the thinnest book in the world? A: What men know about women. Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything. Q: How does a man take a bubble bath? A: He eats beans for dinner. Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay? A: A half hour of begging. Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused? A: He's breathing Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds? A: Government bonds mature. Q: How do you save a man from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common? A: They are both empty from the head up. Q: How can you tell if a man is happy? A: Who cares? Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know. It's never happened. Q: How are men and parking spots alike? A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped. Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework? A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.